This may all seem random but yesterday was my first day of school. If you read my I'm Back post, you know I was extremely anticipating this day.
... It did not at all go as planned and yesterday and today I reflected on it during school. I hope this will be encouraging to someone out there.
Here are two inserts from my very personal journal (ok, the first one is just something I scribbled on paper):
Insert #1
It's interesting how you can go into a situation with all the faith in the world, knowing that because you prayed, everything will work out in your favor, but in one instant, everything shatters and your perfect day turns into a dark pit. A pit of physical loneliness. That's where I am.
Algebra 2 class surrounded by a group of friends that just so happened to get into a class together. I didn't get into the same class as my best friend, I didn't even get in the same lunch as her [one can say I was a tad bit jelly]. So hear I am, wondering why God didn't answer my prayers but to be honest all I can do is laugh. The situation is so bad its hilarious. So I know that even though I will probably be eating lunch alone today and I want to cry, God is going to still have a good year. I can't wait to look back at this school year and laugh with the joy of the Lord because He is going to do amazing things!
There was a sense of optimism at the end of that. But I has Algebra 2nd period and as the day went on all I wanted to do was cry. In fact, when my mom picked my sister and me up, I did. However thanks to God using amazing people like my friends and family, I had my perspective back for today!
Insert #2
I found out yesterday that I am a major "planner". I organize exactly how I want my life to go and for some reason whenever what I planed doesn't happen, I am left confused and depressed. It's like, I prayed for something right? So why didn't it happen?
This year I expected to have classes with my friends and not be alone at lunch. That didn't happen and I realized my optimism was limited to my situation and what I thought the future would hold.
But God had other plans, like He always does. Now after a blissful summer learning about Him, I am forced into classes when I barely know a soul and where God truly is my only friend.
The verse Proverbs 16:9 has taken on a totally new meaning for me this past day.
Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)
... It did not at all go as planned and yesterday and today I reflected on it during school. I hope this will be encouraging to someone out there.
Here are two inserts from my very personal journal (ok, the first one is just something I scribbled on paper):
Insert #1
It's interesting how you can go into a situation with all the faith in the world, knowing that because you prayed, everything will work out in your favor, but in one instant, everything shatters and your perfect day turns into a dark pit. A pit of physical loneliness. That's where I am.
Algebra 2 class surrounded by a group of friends that just so happened to get into a class together. I didn't get into the same class as my best friend, I didn't even get in the same lunch as her [one can say I was a tad bit jelly]. So hear I am, wondering why God didn't answer my prayers but to be honest all I can do is laugh. The situation is so bad its hilarious. So I know that even though I will probably be eating lunch alone today and I want to cry, God is going to still have a good year. I can't wait to look back at this school year and laugh with the joy of the Lord because He is going to do amazing things!
There was a sense of optimism at the end of that. But I has Algebra 2nd period and as the day went on all I wanted to do was cry. In fact, when my mom picked my sister and me up, I did. However thanks to God using amazing people like my friends and family, I had my perspective back for today!
Insert #2
I found out yesterday that I am a major "planner". I organize exactly how I want my life to go and for some reason whenever what I planed doesn't happen, I am left confused and depressed. It's like, I prayed for something right? So why didn't it happen?
This year I expected to have classes with my friends and not be alone at lunch. That didn't happen and I realized my optimism was limited to my situation and what I thought the future would hold.
But God had other plans, like He always does. Now after a blissful summer learning about Him, I am forced into classes when I barely know a soul and where God truly is my only friend.
The verse Proverbs 16:9 has taken on a totally new meaning for me this past day.
Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)
A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.
But the Lord directs his steps.
My heart had been planning out this whole school year and when everything didn't happen the way I thought it should, I was shocked into a state of depression. I honestly thought being around friends would make this the best school year thus far when truly, being in God's will will do that.
And as I am writing this I am sitting alone during lunch with a smile on my face, truly excited to do what God has made me to do.
Sorry this post was so long, I wanted it to be brief, but hey, whatcha gonna do? I pray this will encourage you while we all transfer into the new school year.
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